So I haven’t blogged for a really long time. I was kind of getting tired of social media, to tell you the truth. Everybody yelling and having an opinion. Everybody arguing over ‘what way is the right way’. Why am I blogging? What about my life is so interesting that anyone would care? Its not like this is actually going to ever be a business. I started putting a lot of pressure on myself, and the more pressure I put on myself to ‘be something to someone’ or ‘make something out of it’, the less I actually wanted to write. But then I remembered the reason for starting this blog. It’s a journal of my life. My adventures. My stories. My thoughts. And if someone else gets something from it, cool.
That’s it. That’s all.
A lot has happened. I started school in August at the age of 36 to finally finish my bachelor’s degree. I’m loving being back in school, as I’ve always loved learning. Yet it’s really driven home how much I have actually grown up, being around the ‘younger kids’. Yes, I really did catch myself saying that. Kids. I honestly have to say I stopped and shuddered when I said that. But its the truth. On one hand, its great to see their optimism and ‘we can change’ the world attitudes. But listening to some of their opinions, I honestly am going ‘yeah, yeah, let’s see what you think in 10 years after working a job and watching all your hard earned money go in taxes that always seem to be going up and nothing seems to be getting better’. Ok, I’m a little cynical about government and taxes. Who isn’t?
I am loving school. I’m going to Metro State in Denver, which is a beautiful campus. Next semester, I’m even trying a tai chi class. Something I’ve always wanted to try.
This past weekend it snowed, and being cooped up in the house allowed me to get caught up and catch my breath. Got some photos edited that have been sitting on my desktop for months. Got my schoolwork caught up. Got some work done for the new Trials club I’m helping to co-found (which has been super-exciting to be a part of). The boyfriend and I cleaned the house from top to bottom (trying to ferret out whatever virus keeps making us sick). And I finally got to a place, sitting in front of the fireplace, where I wanted to blog again.
Because that was why I had originally started my blog, all those ages and incarnations ago. Just to write. Just to put down my story. An online journal that I could decorate with photos and videos. Sharing my story because it was fun.
I was just telling my boyfriend how happy it was that it snowed. While I enjoy the milder weather of Colorado (can’t complain when you can ride your motorcycle year round), I miss the winters of Iowa growing up. Getting snowed in for days at a time. This weekend, curled up by the fire, I had nothing to distract me from writing and reading and enjoying myself. I was forced to stop, to slow down, to relax. Too many weeks of school and chores and projects blend into weekends riding and running around (and more projects). Weeks turn into months turn into a year until I finally collapse from exhaustion because I’ve been too busy to listen to my body tell me I need to slow down.
Sometimes I think I need to have a snow day even when its sunny outside. To forget this modern idea of ‘you must be busy all of the time’. To shut the world out and say ‘no, I’m taking some time for me and I’m not going to be ashamed about that’. To not have an excuse to not be doing something.