Just got done with my early morning jog. Third week in a row of jogging three times a week, going out right when I get up. I’m only up to jogging about 3/4 of a mile right now, but it’s going pretty well. It’s amazing to me how my brain drifts when I get into the rhythm of my run now. It’s kind of like brainstorming, the writer in me looking around at the world, letting stories drift into my brain. So I thought I would share another experimentation with writing poetry this Wednesday.
Seeing beyond the fog of reality
Unicorns running through the fields
Dragons in the sky
Colors that live in another realm
Stories that have never been told
Where magic lives in everything
And music fills the world
Shapes and colors and meanings
Beyond the literal mind
Where the painting tells a story
And the story tells a dream
Where worlds are never ending
The word impossible is never spoken
And every day is a journey to find that which tries to hide
Behind the veil of reality
A child sees through quite easily
That which fogs the older mind
But all can see within the dream
If they tear down the walls that block their sight
An ephemeral world where all can exist
All one must do is believe
A fantasy born true
There are two things I love doing in this world. Walking into a bookstore, inhaling the smell of all the new books, pulling in the creative energy of all the unexplored stories. And my new favorite, walking through a crystal store and connecting with stones.
I know, you might be thinking I’m crazy. I grew up believing that people who liked crystals and incense and things were crazy, weird, etc. But ever since I was a little girl I’ve always felt drawn to rocks. To the earth. It’s one of the reasons I love my move to Colorado. I love the energy of the mountains. Their strength. Their timelessness. Their power. There’s nothing more cleansing and rejuvenating for me than a long walk on a quiet mountain trail (if you can find a quiet mountain trail anymore around here).
A year or so ago I started getting introduced to the idea of crystals. That certain stones have properties that can affect us, our emotional and physical well-being, and the environment around us. I’m just a baby in this, but I love learning more about it. The more I learn, the more I come to understand that there is so much about our world that we do not know. That if we open ourselves up to new things, we might be amazed at what we find.
Today I found a new crystal store. The trip in itself was fun, because I discovered this old, seemingly abandoned amusement park right down the road from me! I didn’t really have time to explore it, but it looked pretty awesome.
The purpose for the visit was not only just to get out of the house, but also to find some things to decorate my side of the office desk. To create a positive energy space that I would want to sit at. That would be conducive to creating. To writing. To doing my art. To doing my photography. A space that would be me.
The store had everything, and I just spent some time walking through it. Not looking for any particular thing, just wandering around. Waiting for a stone to ‘talk’ to me. Not physically talk, obviously. The only way I can describe it is like a very soft humming in my bones, in my body. The moment that stone connects with me. Sometimes I find stones that are just pretty and beautiful. Other times I connect with stones because of something going on in my life. Today I connected with a little piece of mookaite. Didn’t know what it did, just knew that it needed to come home with me. Come to find out mookaite aids in helping stomach issues, and that’s what I’ve been dealing with the last couple of days.
I got four other stones along with the mookaite, one a pretty geode I just got because it was beautiful. Along with an incense burner, with some white sage and lavender sticks, because I love things that cleanse and balance. And I just love the smell of lavender!
Now some may scoff and say “Do you really think these rocks will cure anything?”
I shrug my shoulders and say “I don’t know. But I know how they make me feel. How the thought of having them around makes me feel. And if nothing else they are beautiful.”
So now these sit on my desk, along with some other crystals and my snow leopard statue. I have loved snow leopards since I was a little girl, always having to go see them at the zoo. Recently I was reading about spirit animals, and I think that if they are true, than a snow leopard is mine. Connection to the Earth. Balance. Connection to the inner wisdom inside of you (I’ve often been told I’m very self-aware, even if I haven’t always listened to my own wisdom). Inability to tackle problems face to face. Preferring not to jump into a fight or unknown situation until I know that I’m not going to be attacked from behind by some problem (that one is me to a tee). Silent (I can talk to people I connect with, but love communicating through writing so much more). Solitary (I like people but as an introvert I gain my power from time spent alone). I am slow to anger but when it is roused it is fierce. Yet if I do not find an outlet for that anger it is often internalized, causing all sorts of problems.
So I have a little snow leopard statue that watches over me, alongside my stones and my incense. And while it may just be a ‘peace of mind’ thing, or just that my little corner of the office now feels like ‘me’, I do feel a shift in the room. In my creativity. It feels welcoming. I can feel the words, the pictures, the energy flowing through me. I feel calm. I feel at peace.
The point of this was not really to say “Oh my God! You have to get into crystals and spirit animals and…” Although, yes. I really enjoy my crystals and I do believe they have a healing presence in my life. Along with other natural, holistic herbs and oils I’ve been using.
The point was just rejoicing because I’m happy in my new space. And to maybe encourage anyone who reads this to create their own ‘me space’. To open their mind up to new possibilities. But mostly, if you are a creative person and you’re feeling ‘blocked’, make a ‘me space’. Fill it with the things that are you. That make you happy. That give you energy. The things that resonate with you.
Don’t be worried about what other people might say. I know there’s a lot of people that would call me weird and crazy, but I just embrace it and say “Cool! I’m weird and crazy! I’d hate to be normal.”
So be cool. Be crazy. Make your own ‘me space’. And enjoy!
One of the best ways I’ve found to deal with my anxiety and depression is writing. There is something soothing about putting words to paper (or screen). I have no purpose or form to my writing, other than to just write. Recently, the stuff flowing out of me has taken poem form. Even though I’m not a ‘poet’, and I don’t really study the form or anything. But I decided to start sharing some of my writing (Writing Wednesday). I hope you enjoy.
You think you’ve got me down
But you’ve only filled me with fire
A Phoenix, eternally rising from the pit
No matter how many times you throw me down
I will rise up stronger than ever
Throw all the stones and sticks you want
I know the secrets that lie within your heart
For you might as well throw the rock at the mirror
For it is you who are afraid to look at your own heart
Blame me for whatever you wish
For the excuses and guilt will only live within your heart
You hide behind lies parading as truths
Masks that you wish to wear
Because you can’t bear the truth of your soul
That you’ve let yourself down
While I drag myself out of the pit
You wallow in the darkness because you can’t believe you’re worth more
Do not be jealous of my flames
For the fire that drives my soul
For the way that I have grown
So tear me down all you want
Throw all the chains you may
But I will rise on Phoenix wings
And simply fly away
“How will I know who I can become if I don’t give myself the chance to try new things, to push myself beyond my normal boundaries? Who might I be if I am away from the things that I currently use to define myself?”
― Eileen Cook
So for the last few years I’ve wanted a DSLR camera. You know, one of the ones with the interchangeable lenses which takes the really amazing photos you see in magazines. Or the ones framed up on people’s walls. Not that I really thought I could be a professional photographer or anything. I just loved the art aspect of it.
I have always loved art, and painting. It’s calming. It’s creative. And it’s inspiring. I love going to art galleries and getting inspiration for my writing. I love how things in the world inspire my paintings.
I recently submitted a story that was accepted to be a part of the Writing is Art gallery at the Cottonwood Center in Colorado Springs. It was a unique contest in which writers went to the gallery, found a painting or other piece of art that spoke to them, then wrote a story or poem associated with the paintings. Tonight was the opening Gala, where the paintings and stories were displayed side by side. For those that can’t get to the gallery, here is the story that I submitted. The photo is the painting that I wrote the story on. Enjoy!!!